I'm Scared To Death
by blackbirdintegrity
Summary: A storm is coming.


**A/N: Little bit AU.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN CRIMINAL MINDS**

"The storm is coming." Emily whispered to the man on the other line.

It's stupid, she knows. She's a grown independent woman, a former CIA agent and a current FBI agent, yet here she is, curled up on the couch, afraid. It's not the storm per se that she's afraid of. It's the loud thunders and strong lightning, especially at night. She can't explain why.

Hotch does not take it against her though. If anything, it gives him more reason to fuss over her. She hates being fuss over, except when there's a storm. He understands it though. He understands that she can't explain why, and he's just there for her.

Except tonight. They got called for a case a few days ago. Her transfer back to the FBI from Interpol still has a few glitches in the paperwork so she couldn't join them yet. But he's on his way home now.

"I know. But just sit tight, okay? We're landing in 5 minutes." He says to her.

A loud thunder then suddenly came grumbling which made Emily gasp and jump. This did not go unnoticed to man on the other line and it broke his heart.

"Hey. Em." Hotch called softly. "We have the weekend off. Maybe we can finally go shopping for the guest room. Didn't you tell me you wanted to re-decorate it?"

Huh. Distraction.

He heard a shaky gasp from the other line until she says, "Yeah. I do."

"Okay then. Tomorrow, we're going shopping, and we can go to the bookstore too. We can browse for as long as you want. Does that sound good, sweetheart?"

This earned a chuckle from Emily. He really knows her. He knows her too well.

"Yeah. That sounds good. I can't wait." She whispered.

"Good. We're landing now so I have to hang up. A few minutes more, okay?"

"Okay. Be safe. I love you."

"I will. I love you. See you later, sweetheart."

All she could do was think of the things she wanted to buy for the guestroom and all the books she wanted to get until Hotch gets home. Before she knew it, she was asleep. The storm forgotten, but not her fear.

/

Hotch was met by silence as he entered their apartment. He placed his coat on the rack, and his go bag on the floor. He was about to head upstairs when he noticed Emily sleeping on the couch.

His face immediately softened as he took her appearance- curled up, wrapped in blanket, and her phone in her hand. He knelt down by the couch in front of her.

He kissed her forehead and watched as her eyes fluttered open. _"Beautiful"_ He thought.

"Aaron?" She asked as she tried her hardest to focus on the man in front of her.

"Yes, love. I'm home." He said. At this, it finally registered to Emily that her man was home. She suddenly flung herself to him and buried her face in his shoulder. Aaron, in turn, wrapped her tightly in his arms.

"There's a storm" She muffled on his shirt. "I'm scared." She added, suddenly feeling so small.

"I know. I know, sweetheart. But I'm here now. I'm here and you're safe." He said, trying to comfort his girlfriend.

Once they were in bed, Emily immediately curled up into Hotch. Being in his arms made her feel safe.

Hotch felt her jumped as loud thunders came grumbling in. However, he just kept rubbing comforting circles on her back and kissing her hair. "I'm sorry" she said, trying to keep her tears at bay. "It's stupid."

There was much more to it than a simple fear, and Hotch knows that. Emily came from a long-term relationship before she came to law enforcement where she was constantly insulted and degraded, and even physically abused. It took a bad beating and a two-week hospital stay for Emily to finally have to courage to leave him. Then it took years for her to build herself up again, and even with that time, she still hasn't felt whole. She wasn't the same.

When their paths crossed years ago as she stood in his office, ready to take Greenaway's spot, Hotch was immediately smitten. She was intelligent and mysterious and beautiful, just like how he remembered her when he was working for her mother. He made sure to never let her go. Hotch would wince every time he sees in his mind an image of a brutally beaten Emily. He has seen so many gruesome crime scene photos, but this one makes his heart shatter into million pieces. He recalled the time she opened up to him, telling the story of that fateful stormy night when her former boyfriend came home drunk and beat her up for no reason. From then on, Hotch made a promise that he would listen to her – every word, every action, every sigh – and never ever ignore them.

For Emily, meeting Hotch again was like her new beginning. He made her feel like a new woman, like she's worth it. She was struggling, even thought about ending it – ending everything just so she wouldn't hurt anymore. She was tired of wiping her own tears, picking her own self up, because she knows no one's going to rub her back and tell her it's okay. But Hotch, _bless his heart_ , was very patient, and kind, and understanding, and loving. He was everything she ever dreamed of that she made a brave decision to start again, to give love one more chance. And she never regretted it.

He shifted their positions so they were lying on their sides, facing each other. He grabbed her hand and held it tightly. He then held her chin so she can look at him in the eyes. "Hey, listen to me. Nothing about this is stupid. You are valid. Every happiness, sadness, anger, every fear – everything that you're feeling is valid, especially to me. So please, please, do not hesitate to tell me what you feel. And you never ever have to justify them. Understood?"

Tears were streaming down her face as she listened to his words. "Understood." She whispered.

He brought her back to his arms, and whispered "You're safe. No one's going to hurt you ever again. I promise you that."

"Thank you." And she swears, the love that she feels for this man is beyond words.


End file.
